In Sensation Comics #10, Wonder Woman helps Steve Trevor take down some Japanese and German spies who are attempting to blow up a train carrying soldiers. This is all fine and dandy and pretty much Marston’s standard Wonder Woman plot. But not so fast. There’s a twist.

(Sidenote: This tale features quite a bit of racist stereotyping as the main villain, who actually gets a lot of face time, is Ishti, a Japanese spymaster of some sort. He talks in broken English and stutters over his “s”es. There’s also a brief appearance of a train porter, who’s black and indistinguishable from the porter in the last issue.)

Wonder Woman, especially as Diana Prince, is an obsessed stalker in this story. There’s no question about it; she stalks Steve because she’s jealous.

Steve informs Diana that he doesn't want her. She decides to try out stalking.

The story starts with Steve lamenting about how he wishes Wonder Woman would appear before him. Instead, he turns around to find Diana, and he promptly informs her that he doesn’t need her and is going on a mission. Diana — while spying on them out her office window — discovers Steve’s going on a date with Dolly Dancer. Diana follows Steve and Dolly on their date: dark glasses and hiding behind menus like some bad romantic comedy. The whole time Diana comments on how she knows Dolly is no good.

Diana follows Steve and Dolly on their date.

Then, Diana eavesdrops on Steve’s call with Darnell where Steve tells him he’s going on a mission to New York City for the weekend and will be taking the train. Diana breaks into the train’s drawing room, which Steve will be staying in with Dolly, and marks the side of the train so she can find it later. Then slipping out, Diana changes into her Wonder Woman costume as the train leaves the station.

As not to be accused of stalking, Wonder Woman runs behind the train for 60 miles before jumping into the window. She hopes to catch a surprised Steve and Dolly in a compromising position. But, it’s just Steve currently in the room. Wonder Woman makes an excuse about exercising by chasing after trains. Yeah…

Wonder Woman. Just out doing some running for her health.

Wonder Woman disappears just as Dolly comes back into the room. Meanwhile, we discover that Dolly is indeed working with the Japanese and German spies. They want Steve to give them the code translation so they can blow up the trains moving high-ranking military officers across America. But to Dolly’s credit, she’s under duress as Ishti threatens to kill her with his knife.

Dolly appears in her show that night. And stalker Wonder Woman decides that she too is going to be in the show. After Dolly’s dancing, Wonder Woman goes up on stage and makes husbands tell the truth — about how they’ve been cheating on their wives — with her lasso and the audience loves and laughs with it. I apparently didn’t find it as funny as the audience did.

Taking some time out from stalking, Wonder Woman gets other men to confess about their cheating.

Next Wonder Woman spies on Dolly and Steve as they drink and continue their date back at Dolly’s place. Steve gives Dolly the codes and leaves at Dolly’s instance. Wonder Woman then demands Dolly confess her sins and tell her where the spies have gone. Turns out there’s a whole system of train tunnels under Dolly’s apartment and good thing that Etta and Beeta Lambda Sorority have arrived to help Wonder Woman explore them.

Steve is drunk. You can tell by his weird hair, which is ready to attack Dolly.

Dolly gases Wonder Woman with her perfume, and Ishti and his men take Wonder Woman below. Ishti learned from Gunther that if chains are welded to Wonder Woman’s bracelets she looses all her powers. So he goes about doing this. Then Ishti hooks up Wonder Woman to the electric grid, and in a this is not scientifically correct moment, Wonder Woman changes the electric current to “direct current” to survive the voltage. Kids, don’t try this at home. You will die.

No, Wonder Woman, you'd still be fried. Just in a different way.

Escaping due to the welder being a woman, not a man, Wonder Woman saves the day. Or actually, she leaves the bad guys loose in order to stop the train from blowing up. Or more precisely to save Steve. (Screw the rest of them or the people the spies shot as they came for one last try at the army soldiers.) Also somehow Etta is able to offer a bon-bon to Steve from atop a moving train. Go figure.

Etta's always one to share. Especially on top of a moving train.

Steve then tells Wonder Woman he would never betray her love, and he knew from the beginning that Dolly worked with the spies. Such comfort in the last panel (emphasis mine):

Steve: “My beautiful angel – Will you ever forgive me? I only made love to Dolly in the line of duty.”
Wonder Woman: “You always perform your duties so thoroughly, Steve! But I should have known your taste in women is better than that!”

Emotional maturity of 12-year-olds. Don't fall for it, Wonder Woman.

This is the first time I’ve felt like Wonder Woman was a bad influence for young women. In the past, some of her pining for Steve has gotten a little close to out of control. Especially the ridiculous notion that Diana is less than Wonder Woman when she’s the same person. However, stalking Steve in this issue makes her a poor role model. Wonder Woman can and is supposed to be so much better than this.

And as for Steve, I’m pretty sure “made love” meant the same thing in 1942 as it does today. Sex is still sex. I mean, okay, Wonder Woman and Steve are only dating in the loosest 6th grader sense of dating (minus the sex), but if he feels the need to apologize, maybe Darnell should’ve been sexing it up with Dolly instead. Wow. Sensation Comics #10 brings Diana and Steve’s relationship up to a whole new level of messed up.

The last story in Wonder Woman #1 may be the most offensive story written yet. Okay, actually, I don’t think it’s any more offensive than the one about the circus’ elephants earlier this issue.

In this story, Mint Candy, brother of Etta and solider in the US Army, is targeted by Japanese spies in order to get information about his division’s orders. In a very convoluted plot, Mint hits his head after a fall from a sabotaged motorcycle and Etta and Diana head to the Candy family’s ranch in Texas to cheer him up. Etta wants to set Mint up with Diana, and Diana just wants information to save America from the Axis.

Mint’s portrayed as something of a Gomer Pyle-like character. He’s simple-minded, but is always trying to do his best to help out his country. While the text never says he’s not good enough for Wonder Woman, it’s implied. But that’s okay because he ends up finding true love away. He also serves as Steve’s damsel-in-distress proxy for this tale.

Much like his sister, Mint serves as a comedic relief.

The first bit of fail comes when Diana and Etta are aboard the train to Texas. Etta has the Porter bring her her suitcase. Sadly and unsurprisingly, the Porter, who is black, is drawn in black-face and speaks jive, and also sadly and unsurprisingly, Etta’s suitcase is full of candy, just enough to get her through the trip.

When Etta offers Diana a box of candy, Diana declines and then proceeds to give Etta a lecture on how fat she is and how she needs to go on a diet. Instead of say, being worried about her best friend’s health, Diana starts off her lecture telling Etta she needs to slim down in order to catch a man. When Etta claims that men love her, Diana goes into Wonder Woman-mode telling Etta that it’s unpatriotic to hoard, to hoard extra fat in your body. That’s right, being fat is unpatriotic. At that point, Etta concedes and tells Wonder Woman she’ll go on a diet and lose 10 pounds, and if she likes that, she’ll lose 50. Etta’s diet is not mentioned again until the end of the story, but Etta notably does not eat candy for the rest of their trip.

That's right, women should be thin for men and for patriotism. Ugh. Between the Porter and the lecture, this scene is beyond fail.

Etta and Diana meet up with Mint and Pancho, the Candy’s Mexican horse trainer. Interestingly enough, Mexicans are the only people of color to appear in Wonder Woman comics which aren’t outright racist stereotypes. Their portrayal is not completely unproblematic, but their portrayal doesn’t have the same problems of the Japanese, Burmese, or African-Americans’ depictions.

Mint decides to take them to an abandoned mine on the Candy property. (Pancho stays behind and makes a suspicious phone call.) In the mind shaft, the trio finds a woman, Pepita tied up inside and Mint proceeds to rescue her. Pepita claims that she’s been kidnapped and raped by a man who’s determined to marry her. Mint and she fall instantly in love with each other. Though the narration refers to Pepita several times as “dark and dangerous.”

Mint plays hero and rescues Pepita. They fall in love.

Later, when they’re alone, Pepita gives Mint cigarettes, which turn out to both knock him out and act as a truth serum. Pancho shows up and interrogates Mint on his division’s orders. Interestingly enough, Pancho’s skin coloring makes him the darkest Mexican, which I do think equates him with being the evilest. Pepita, on the other hand, is a lot lighter, which is used as a shorthand for her beauty and her innocence in all this.

On truth serum cigarettes, Mint divulges where the Army troops are going.

Pancho makes a dramatic exit before Etta and Diana show up. Though the horse trainer ends up being bucked off his horse later and consequently dies off-screen, never delivering his information.

Etta and Wonder Woman (in costume) leave Mint behind to chase (Etta riding on Wonder Woman’s back as she runs) after Pepita (on horseback) to Mexico City. To which I would like to point out that from the southern most tip of Texas to Mexico City is over 300 miles. But from Brazos, Texas (where the Candy ranch is, near Forth Worth) to Mexico City is over 600 miles. Pretty sure you had a map in 1942, Marston.

Yes, this is how they cover over 600 miles. Wonder Woman may have the speed of Mercury and the strength of Hercules, but perhaps she should've asked for the speed of a horse instead.

Pepita escapes when Etta and Diana are stopped at gunpoint by Mexicans and Japanese spies. Then they’re loaded into cars and taken part way to Mexico City. Mid-trip, the spies decided Etta is not only fat, but dead weight, and drop her off the back of the car so the other car (with Wonder Woman inside) can run her over. Wonder Woman, of course, easily breaks her bonds and somehow swerves both cars into crashing. All the bad guys die, and Wonder Woman and Etta continue their journey to Mexico City.

In Mexico City, they discover that Pepita is a famous bullfighter (another stereotype). She has killed 50 bulls in the ring, and they watch as she defeats another. But then, while waiting for the next round, one of the bulls, El Terrifico breaks out and goes right for Pepita. Wonder Woman swoops in to save her and lassos the bull. She makes El Terrifico lick her hand and then do a headstand.

And this was before Wonder Woman had powers to talk to animals.

In her dressing room, Pepita confesses to Etta and Wonder Woman that the Japanese threatened to kill her family and that’s why she helped get the information from Mint. She also gives them directions to a secret Japanese port base in Mexico and information that the Japanese plan to attack Mexico. (Another map note: Mexico City is over 150 miles from the ocean, and it’s more like 200 on the Pacific side.) Wonder Woman and Etta meet up with Steve Trevor and Mexico’s Captain Diaz (the whitest Mexican of them all, who apparently works out of Washington DC) at the base, and all the Japanese soldiers and spies are captured.

The story then quickly wraps itself up. Steve reads a newspaper, whose headline says that Wonder Woman has saved Mexico from the Japanese with the help of Steve Trevor. Pepita and Mint are reunited, and Wonder Woman gives their love a blessing from Aphrodite. And Etta tells Diana that the diet’s off and she’s going back to eating candy. Diana then laments in her thoughts that no one, not even Wonder Woman, can convince Etta to diet.

With her zombie arms, Wonder Woman blesses Mint and Pepita's love.

Before the story begins, Marston makes an attempt to explain how the plot ends up with Wonder Woman on a horse, jumping onto a u-boat in the water.

In this tale from Wonder Woman #1, Diana and Steve go to visit Baroness Paula Van Gunther in prison. Some Allied boats keep getting sunk, and no one knows how the Axis are coming across the information of where the boats are going to be. They figure Paula will know. Interestingly enough, this is the first Wonder Woman story which relays on a male character to help save Wonder Woman. Granted, the male character is Freddy, the prison warden’s young son who’s probably about 10-years-old. Which is why I’m okay with it, if we’re aiming this story at young girls and Freddy is otherwise portrayed as the annoying younger brother of Mabel.

No one can keep Paula down, and prison life suits her just fine. Fine in that her cell holds a secret trapdoor, which leads into a forgotten, underground chamber where she meets up with her fellow Nazi spies and her slaves. While this issue doesn’t dip too far into Marston’s cabniet of curiosities, there are a couple moments where Paula is bowed down to by her slaves. Paula also has Guard Swipe under her control. Hence, the whole being able to leave her cell without anyone noticing.

When Steve attempts to use a lie detector on Paula, she hits him on the head with it.

This issue also marks the first time where Wonder Woman’s lasso is used against her. First, young Freddy “borrows” her lasso; when obsessed with lassoing himself, he knocks over Diana’s bag and out pops her lasso. Wonder Woman heads back to the prison when she realizes it’s missing. She also gives Freddy a lesson in how to be better with the lasso. But not before Guard Swipe takes Wonder Woman’s lasso and gives it to Paula.

Wonder Woman teaches a young boy to rope by playing target. Err...

Meanwhile, Wonder Woman’s spotted illegally entering the prison and found with Swipe’s dead body. She’s then accused of murder. Of course, she didn’t do it, but Diana doesn’t have any way to prove her innocence. Instead, she kicks the guards and hurries off back to her day job. There Diana has the first true encounter with the problem of leading a double life. Steve doesn’t believe for a second that Wonder Woman killed Swipe, and he wants an official statement from Wonder Woman.

However, Steve also requires a secretary, namely Diana as all the other secretaries have gone home for the night, to take down Wonder Woman’s statement. And Steve won’t let Diana leave until Wonder Woman calls. Diana slips into her office to call Steve as Wonder Woman, which he then rushes into Diana’s office to have her take down Wonder Woman’s statement. When Steve notices she’s already on the phone, Diana brushes off her eavesdropping as being a prepared secretary. Satisfied, Steve leaves her alone to go back to hear Wonder Woman’s statement. Good thing these were the days before the speakerphone.

Unable to do such a girly thing like type, Steve keeps Diana at work.

When Wonder Woman rushes back to the prison, Paula ambushes her and lassos Diana in her own rope. That’s right, Diana will now do whatever Paula tells her to do. She ends up in the secret underground lair, tied to a poll, next to a caged Freddy. Wonder Woman manages to knock her poll down and ram herself against Freddy’s metal cage to break him free. But just as Freddy unties Wonder Woman’s hands, Paula points a gun at her. However, quick thinking Freddy lassos Paula. Off-panel and unexplained Paula gets away from both Wonder Woman and Freddy and makes a break to the secret lake base of Nazi u-boats.

Paula makes Wonder Woman obey her with Wonder Woman's own lasso.

Diana then leads the U.S. Calgary, on horseback, to the lake. Then jumps a horse on top of a u-boat. Because horses love underwater journeys so much. Paula continues to flee, and the last we see of her, she falls off a u-boat into the water and toward a large rock. Somehow though, I think she’ll survive to annoy Wonder Woman another day.

I'm sure that horses love jumping onto metal surfaces.

In the second story collected in Wonder Woman #1, Diana and Steve go to the circus, which is having a fundraiser for the army’s benefit. The circus turns into the most racist comic I’ve ever read. Unlike other racism featured in Wonder Woman, yellowface drawings and blackface with jive dialog, the entire plot is racist and full of ethic stereotypes of Burmese, along with another Japanese spy.

Wonder Woman solves the mystery of who’s killing the circus’ elephants. In fact, she and Etta team up by wearing a baby elephant suit undercover to discover the culprits behind the poisoned animals. (They’re caught when the other elephants recognize the baby elephant is a suit worn by two people, and they’re tossed into the air and away.) The elephants are in the care of Burmese trainers, and that’s who’s killing them.

Usually, I don't insert an entire page, but this page is so incredibly racist and surreal

That’s right highly superstitious Burmese are killing the elephants because they believe the “foreign devils” are hurting their ancestors’ souls. While none of the white characters ever comment on this superstition, only express that killing elephants is bad in general, it’s pretty clear that the reader’s supposed to think the Burmese are crazy, stupid, and have a primitive religion for killing elephants. In fact, we’re shown Wonder Woman and Beeta Lambda Sorority (who always end up at these things) being prepared as a sacrifice to the elephant ancestors.

Here’s some dialog:

San Yan, a Burmese trainer, who’s actually a Japanese spy: “Captives, hear your doom! Your bodies shall be trampled on by a sacred elephant whose spirit you have kept in bondage! Then we shall free the remaining souls of our ancestors!”

Wonder Woman: “You mean kill more elephants?”

San Yan: “Yes — to free our ancestors’ spirits we must kill these elephants whom you hold captive, far from their native country! For this purpose we came from far Burma across the Pacific Ocean.” [Proceeds to randomly speak Japanese characters, which I'd bet good money on that they're gibberish.]

Not only are the Burmese stupid for doing this, they’re also stupid because they’re being played by a Japanese spy. The spy’s stopping the army from raising money by killing the elephants. Marston’s a little quick to have the Burmese align themselves with the Japanese spy given that 300,000 Burmese fled when Japan invaded their country and Burma became a major front-line in the Southeast Asian Theater of WWII.

Wonder Woman discovers San Yan is a Japanese spy, and Peter draws more yellowface.

Adding to the awful, Steve teams up with mobsters in order to free Wonder Woman and Beeta Lambda Sorority. At first, Steve thinks the mobsters are killing the elephants when the mobsters try to rough up the Burmese for protection money. But apparently, the evil Burmese are something mobsters and the army can work together to take down.

The white people beat the evil brown people. Oh, wait, some of the white people are also suppose to be evil too.

Peter’s drawings make the Burmese proto-humanoid in appearance. They don’t look like fully developed modern humans, which plays right into Marston’s writing. The Japanese spy might as well be colored with a crayon labeled “yellow.”

The entire issue was so icky. What amazed me the most was that Marston wrote himself so many outs to turn the issue around. He could’ve made it the mobsters. He could’ve had the mobsters blackmailing the Burmese. Anything, anything than resorting to horrible racist stereotypes, vilifying the Burmese, and letting mobsters get away because they’re white.

Wonder Woman #1 was published in the summer of 1942 and was the first full-length comic book featuring only Wonder Woman stories. It’s composed of four stories, and so I’m choosing to spread out this issue into four blog posts because Wonder Woman #1 is important.

As an introduction, there’s a biography of Miss Alice Marble, associate editor of Wonder Woman. Which is basically a fluff piece on how she’s making sure Wonder Woman stays true to herself and as a hero for girls. Plus, how even grown women love Wonder Woman. While Marble was famous for playing tennis, her secret life a spy on Nazis was perhaps far more interesting. She retired due to being shot in the back while obtaining Nazi financial information in Switzerland. Now that’s some serious real life bad guy fighting. Interestingly enough, this all took place after she started editing Wonder Woman.

In addition to Marble’s bio, there’s also a page called “Who’s Wonder Woman?” where Greek gods — Aphrodite, Athena, Mercury, and Hercules — are used to explain Diana’s powers and beliefs as an easy introduction for new readers.

The first tale is a retelling of the origins of both the Amazons and how how Wonder Woman came to be in America. Some details are rehashed, some are new, and others have been edited. I felt like Marston had an editor’s red pen scribbled all over his original story. Here there is little to none of his cabinet of curiosities, and while there are still some ridiculous elements, the tale feels a lot tamer and less full of wacky what were they thinking moments. Wonder Woman’s original origin story appears in All-Star Comics #8.

The story’s framed by a doctor at the army hospital finding a parchment dropped by Wonder Woman. He realizes it’s ancient and sends it to the Smithsonian. The parchment contains the story of the Amazons and how they came to inhabit Paradise Isle, among other things.

Ares and Aphrodite start their age-old argument about war versus love.

The basic tale is the still the same. The Amazons are fierce warrior women who are conquered by Hercules when he tricks Hippolyta into removing her magic girdle to have sex with him. (Though Hercules keep calling it “making love.”) The Amazons are then enslaved by Hercules and his men. Aphrodite eventually frees them, and the Amazons are granted Paradise Isle as a sanctuary of peace away from the men.

Hippolyta takes down Hercules to win the Amazons' freedom. Hercules is drawn ridiculously in this tale.

Added details: Aphrodite crafts all the Amazons from clay. (Just like Wonder Woman is eventually crafted.) She also admits to basically leaving the Amazons as prisoners to teach them the “folly of submitting to man’s domination.” Aphrodite leads the Amazons to the isle by boat.

Then Marston tells for the first time the creation of Wonder Woman. Like the other Amazons, she’s molded from clay. Only she’s molded by Hippolyta as Hippolyta’s child and brought to life by Aphrodite. Aphrodite names her Diana, after the virgin goddess of the hunt.

Wonder Woman is born, or molded from clay. Details, details.

(This is not the only time in his tale where Marston calls a Greek figure by their Roman name. At one point, he refers to Ares as Mars.)

We also see Diana as a child. A child who can pluck whole trees from the ground and run as fast as deer. We see her grow up and be devoted to both Aphrodite and Athena. She gets both her “bracelets of submission” and to drink from the fountain of youth.

Then there’s a retelling of Steve’s crash landing on Paradise Isle and Diana finding him. She then goes as a masked figure in the contest to be able to take him back to America.

The major differences include:

• Mala — who’s stated to be Diana’s best friend — and Diana drag Steve and his plane to shore. They don’t tell Hippolyta, but get a doctor.

• Diana stays up 5 days and nights in order to create a magical purple healing light. Which restores a pronounced dead Steve back to life. And healthy enough to wake up from his coma before he’s taken off the island.

That's right, a purple healing light. What was Marston smoking?

• Aphrodite sends an Amazon to the world of men because she’s determined that Ares has not won. America is Aphrodite’s symbol of hope, whereas, Ares is just excited about World War II.

Basically, the whole entire scenario was an elaborate way for Aphrodite to win an argument with her half-brother.

• In the athletic competition, there’s kanga riding with swords and wresting. But don’t worry, Marston kept the part where Diana shoots Mala in the arm.

• During the wrestling challenge, Marston creates an Amazon named Fatsis, who’s — you guessed it — fat and a “two ton grease heap.” The guy had some serious weight-related issues.

Seriously, what's with Marston and his use of big woman as comic relief tied to their weight?

• Hippolyta seems less upset at Diana going to America, and Diana’s given her magic lasso right away. Diana also gets her Wonder Woman costume, which she gets really girly about her new clothing.

Even Wonder Woman is girly and needs a parade.

• Steve points out on a map that the Axis spy plane which shot him down is on a nearby island. They stop on their way to America. The spy is Japanese, and Diana uses her lasso to make him confess.

The spy is captured. Does this mean Paradise Isle is in the Pacific? Also, once more, we have yellowface. *sigh*

• The comic then turns to Steve’s point of view, and after Diana shows up with Steve at the army hospital, the next scene we see is Colonel Darnell congratulating him on a job well done and Nurse Diana at his side.

Like I said, I feel like an editor got after Marston’s origin story. Taking out some of the extraneous elements and cleaning house. There aren’t any elements I’m sad to see go, but at the same time, this feels almost too polished.

Sensation Comics #9 marks the return of one Diana (Prince) White. That’s right, she’s back like a bad rash. Just kidding. But maybe Wonder Woman will learn a lesson about how you just can’t buy someone else’s identity. Or not.

Unfortunately, this issue also contains more racism in the drawings (Dr. Cue) and an overtly sexist character (Dan White) who’s never really called on it.

Diana and Steve are out to lunch together, and suddenly, this guy starts harassing Diana. He’s basically calling her a hussy for cheating on him. But Diana’s never met him. Dan White starts saying, “Don’t you remember our baby?” And Wonder Woman’s like “I’ve never had sex with a man, much less given birth.” Steve’s basically “WTF, Diana? Do you have a secret life?” Confusion abounds. Steve punches Dan in the face so Dan runs away.

Dan mistakes Wonder Woman for his property. I mean, doesn't she care about their baby? Hussy.

Confusion until Diana remembers that Dan White is the name of the other Diana’s finance, now husband. D’oh. This is why you can’t buy someone’s identity, Wonder Woman. Unless the person’s dead and the body’s hidden; then you can make a delightful TV show about it.

Of course, more confused than Wonder Woman is the other Diana. Who’s innocently at home, slaving over a hot dinner and taking care of her baby, as her husband comes home yelling at her for boning going on a lunch date with Steve Trevor. Dan’s basically a jealous ass, and we find out he’s also a failed inventor, which is causing his family to starve as he’s not bringing home the bacon. With his empty pockets comes a sexist attitude about how no wife of his is ever going to work.

Once Diana figures out who her husband ran into that afternoon, she figures out how she can make money. That’s right, she can get her old job back and no one will know any better. Diana basically guilts Wonder Woman into playing switcheroo one more time.

Diana reminds Wonder Woman that her child is starving, and if we remember anything from the milk issue, there should be a parade.

Anyway, it turns out that Dan’s wacky gas, which vaporizes all the wood and metal in a plane, actually works. And the bad guys are after it. I’ll assume they’re Nazis as it’s still WWII and they have bad “accents.” And Diana’s kidnapped by the bad guys to be held for ransom.

Diana is the hostage Wonder Woman must save. I see more guilt.

It’s worth pointing out that only reason Diana’s kidnapped is that Dan paddle locked Wonder Woman, with a chain around her ankle, to the oven because he thought she was Diana and no wife of his was going to work outside the home. Yeah, Dan’s a real winner. Thankfully, Wonder Woman tries to hit him over the head with a book of feminism.

No property of Dan's will go out and earn a living to feed their child. Even if she's not his wife, but actually Wonder Woman. Imagine if Diana wanted to stop Nazis? What else will women want to do, run for President?

Anyway, turns out Dr. Cue, head of Japanese spies, wants the technology for himself. He’s planning on testing drugs on Diana and then on Etta, who puts herself under his care so Wonder Woman can track them down. Dr. Cue’s final panel of defeat pictures his actual face, featuring another racist drawing where Dr. Cue resembles Mr. Potato Head mixed with Roswell aliens and dyed yellow.

Interesting note: in my DC Archive Edition, Dr. Cue's skin is the same color as Wonder Woman's, unlike this original scan.

On a lighter note: there’s Beeta Lambda climbing down an elevator shaft, which I found entertaining.

I know they taught me how to do this in college too.

Anyway, despite how Wonder Woman fights for us and leads an adventurous life, all she really wants is to be a wife and mother. She’s so envious of Diana, who now doesn’t have to work since Dan’s invention’s immediately bought by the U.S. Army. Yes, Wonder Woman wants Diana’s life once again. Even if Diana’s husband’s such a douchebag that he’d chain his wife to the stove, literally.

That's right, loving douchebag Dan is higher calling than defending America or being a role model for young girls.

Oh, Wonder Woman, the other Diana has nothing on you. Trust me.

Okay, normally, I make it a policy not to review comics like Sensation Comics #8; comics which are blatantly racist, sexist, homophobic, or ablist, except to point out how very peeved I am. I’m not letting Sensation Comics #8 off the hook, despite continuing my review below. That said, Sensation Comics #8 depicts the first black people in Wonder Woman’s otherwise white world. These black people are workers in a hotel, and because it’s 1942, you guessed it, Peter drew them in black-face and Marston gave them “uneducated” dialog. And throws in some classism or just segregation over how black people are the only ones who take the stairs. FAIL.

FAIL.

In Sensation Comics #8, we have the second instance of Wonder Woman fighting for the common person. You know, the common white person anyway. Here she helps out a friend of a friend, Helen, who’s been terminated from her job at Bullfinch Department Store for stealing and is just out of jail. You see, Helen stole for her friend Molly, because the Bullfinch girls make no money, are run ragged, and she was going to pay Bullfinch back in full for the vitamins she stole. Yes, corporations are evil, how unAmerica of Wonder Woman.

Stealing's okay. If it's under doctor's orders and you're going to pay them back.

Instead, Diana confronts Bullfinch’s evil CEO Gloria Bullfinch and demands to know why she doesn’t treat her workers better. She does this at a fancy party. Is this Wonder Woman first foray into the world of being a diplomat? Well, she’s a diamond in the rough.

The best place for confrontation, a fancy party.

Then as Wonder Woman, she comes up with a plan to foil would-be robbers and make Gloria understand the plight of her workers. This involves Etta and the Beeta Lambda Sorority getting themselves hired by Bullfinch and hiding out in the store on the night of the robbery. (Etta works at the candy counter. Because she’s fat and loves candy, get it?) It also involves Wonder Woman using her lasso to make Gloria forget who she is and convince her that she’s only a store girl. She now has to work in the exact same conditions, knowing no other life.

Etta and Beeta Lambda Sorority hear the robbers.

But the robbers, Bullfinch’s male business partner and her boyfriend, knock Wonder Woman out and tied her up. They still manage to take her with them to the department store. Of course, a conscious Wonder Woman, Etta, and the gang foil the plan. Steve gets locked in a safe. Gloria gets her memory back, and she claims to have known nothing about the horrible working conditions of her store. She also punches her boyfriend in the face. It was all the men’s fault.

Gloria punches her boyfriend.

Those damn feminists improving working conditions.

Gloria makes good on her better employee treatment.

Comic book reviews for DC’s Wonder Woman #41, Wonder Woman #42, Wonder Woman #43 by Gail Simone

Wonder Woman #41 by Gail Simone

The Crows being the children of Ares and the Amazons felt a little anti-climatic. Though now I suppose this is Simone tying up her loose ends before giving the title over to Straczynski. But, of course, in the traditions of Wonder Woman, the children are being rehabilitated on a secret island.

I love Achilles and his olephant Mysia and his monologue at the beginning. Also Diana totally setting him up with the real estate agent for the win.

The battle between Diana and Kara was pitch-perfect. Kara might be under a spell, but at her core she still respects Diana, and Diana taps into that. This battle felt like a real one pitting two superheros together. Which is excellent considering how many female superhero battles turn into a gratuitous T&A fest.

After all these years, Diana still needs help with her self-bondage. Though I always love it when she uses the rope on herself in order to win the battle.

I’m so glad that the gorillas saved Etta and Steve from the spell.

The last page with Kara and Diana chatting was awesome. Yay for female friendships. Even if the art did get a little T&A when Kara stretched her back.

Wonder Woman #42 by Gail Simone

I found the opening Green Lantern story incredibly sad with the destruction of the world by the Silver Serpents. I was suspicious, given I don’t read Green Lantern and wasn’t keen on a crossover in this title, especially given the recent Lantern epic.

Thulka Re’s line about feeling sad for others as the “cost of compassion” was brilliant. Because Simone has crafted a story of compassion. I felt sorry for the world, for the child left behind. For Thulka being killed and for Kho Kharhi and Procanon Kaa and their loss and narrow escape.

I really enjoyed Diana’s conversation with Steve. They are such old friends with no pretensions. They can be as honest to each other. Except that Diana holds back about Genocide being her corpse. Clearly, she does not want to admit the possibility that she could ever turn into an ultimate evil. (Except that whole Blackest Night thing…)

My favorite moment after Washington D.C.’s attacked is Etta asking for her gun and pants. Because she’s awesome like that.

Obviously, the red herring about the invaders turning out to be Amazons was that they wanted to keep all the women. There’s nothing like family when it comes to Diana’s world.

Wonder Woman #43 by Gail Simone

My favorite part of this comic is by far Etta. I love her tearing out of the hospital, driving, cast be damned. And telling Steve exactly what’s going to happen. Right before she started bossing around Achilles. Love it.

Scott and Dagnino’s penciling duo reminded me a lot of George Perez’s art. It seemed very quintessential Wonder Woman in every way. Regal, beautiful, strong, and kickass.

Astarte is a rather interesting study in what the Amazons could’ve become. Astarte calls Hippolyta a “cry baby” which makes me think there’s more to this about why she left. The whole fight to the death thing seems rather overblown, especially since a while ago, Wonder Women did the cage-match fighting thing.

Sensation Comics #7 was one long milk ad. I was pretty sure I’d see a milk-mustached Wonder Woman at the end of this.

Interestingly enough, expect for stopping some robbers in the first issue, this is the first time Diana’s gone on a mission for civilians.

On her way to meet stay with a friend in Baltimore, Diana goes missing. What actually happens is she stops to buy milk for a poor woman and her little girl. The woman tells Diana that her son died of malnourishment, and soon her daughter will join him because she hasn’t had milk in weeks. The price of milk has skyrocketed for no reason and they can’t afford it anymore.

The culprit is the International Milk Company. Which is run by a dead woman. That’s right, Baroness Paula’s back among the living. (Steve reports she was supposedly electrocuted in prison, making it clear Wonder Woman served as her prison transport guard, not jailer as the last comic suggested.)

Diana falls down a trapdoor and is tied up. She’s then willingly “drowned” in a milk truck. But not before breaking her bonds in a milk bath and changing into her costume.

From Diana to Wonder Woman in milk. Seriously, in milk.

My favorite part is when Wonder Woman punches a hole in the side of the truck, causing milk to spill all over the road and hundreds of cats chase the truck for milk. Adorable.

Kittens chase the truck. Awe.

After disabling Paula’s goons with her lasso, Wonder Woman throws an International Milk Company is starving children parade/demonstration.

Wonder Woman, rodeo princess of the demonstration, sponsored by milk

Seriously. Paula gets pissed she doesn’t get to ride the pony down the streets of DC. I mean, she sends her goons to capture Wonder Woman, who let’s herself be tied up again. You see, Paula thinks Wonder Woman looses all her powers when chained up, not realizing it’s only when chains are weld to her bracelets, and Wonder Woman plays her for a fool.

Paula tells us all about her evil plans. How she escaped death with her own electro-device to bring herself back to life. And how by driving up milk prices, she starve and weaken Americans so in 20 years, strong German youth can easy overtake American youth. (Yes, Marston was probably unaware of the lactose-intolerant.) Even Wonder Woman mocks her for weak, silly plans considering she used to actually try to blow up people.

Diana get away and disables another bomb off-screen. She then goes to join the fight back at the milk warehouse where Beeta Lambda and Steve have shown up to stop Paula. Wonder Woman arrives just in time to stop Paula from shooting Steve in the back.

It ends with a lassoed Paula writing her confession and Wonder Woman posing for a milk ad:

Wonder Woman's milk ad

Just one big milk ad. Milk for children. Do think of the children.

Here in Sensation Comics #6, Marston’s cabinet of curiosities seems to get the better of his storytelling. We see the first appearance of Wonder Woman’s famous lasso; the first time she’s allowed to return to Paradise Island; and the first time she rides a torpedo. I read this issue aloud to Jason, and he made the comment that Marston seemed to be inserting his fantasies every couple scenes.

The cover for issue #6 says it all really with Wonder Woman riding on a giant kangaroo and having lassoed a bad guy. Yes, this issue will be just as ridiculous.

At the beginning, Diana gets two weeks vacation as Darnell’s off to England, a newly promoted Major Steve Trevor’s in charge, and Diana and Lila get in yet another fight for Steve’s affections around the office. Hippolyta, like any empty-nester, demands her daughter return home. Diana’s thrilled given she was told she could never return. However, Athena and Aphrodite have decided she’s done such a wonderful job in the world of men that Diana deserves a reward for her efforts.

Wonder Woman comes home just in time for the athletic trials. Trials which involve the Amazons riding giant kangaroos, lassoing one another off them, and carrying their tied-up opponents off the field. Yeah, whatever Marston was smoking, where can I get some? Superhero comics are by nature on the ridiculous side, of course; but Marston pulls out all stops here.

The famous Rope an Amazon from a Kanga Contest

Diana decides to enter the event in a mask to surprise everyone. She kicks butt — or is that ties butt? — even against her own people. Then in the finals, it’s down to her and her old foe Mala. Remember Mala? The one Wonder Woman shot in All-Star Comics #8? She beats Mala again. And notably, Mala’s the only Amazon not thrilled when Diana pulls back her mask to reveal that the Princess has returned.

Mala cannot win. But Diana does a great hog-tie.

Elsewhere, Hippolyta’s having Metala (yes, Marston can’t think of a better name for a metal worker) take apart her magical girdle to turn into into the infamous magical lasso. When Diana’s presented with the lasso, she’s told the lasso will “give thee powers to control others! Whomsoever thy magic lasso binds must obey thee!” She first tests it out on Mala, as Mala attempts to follow Diana back to the world of men on her own plane. Apparently, every Amazon has her own plane. Along with her own kangaroo.

Back in America, Diana discovers Steve’s old office has been bombed and Colonel Darnell’s missing aboard the Gigantic! She takes a conscious Steve aboard her plane, and they go off to fight Baroness Paula and her latest scheme.

That’s right, good ole slave-keeping, sadistic “Gestapo agent and murderess” Baroness Paula’s on the loose again. Seems with a little flirting, she gets her prison guard’s gun and goes back to her old tricks. Namely tying up slave girls to mattress. No, I’m not kidding. In the name of comic science, the Baroness sends weird energy over her slave girl — Peter’s drawing looks much like electrocution — which turns the mattress and the girl invisible. Seems the Baroness needs to know if this energy’s harmful so she can use it herself.

Hopefully, the mattress was comfortable?

Now, if I had my own invisibility machine and were a spy, there are a lot of things I’d do. I rather feel Marston wastes the machine here, and the real reason for this scene is for Marston’s cabinet of curiosities.

Instead, the Baroness sneaks aboard the Gigantic, replacing another passenger. She turns the ship invisible and relays its coordinates to a Nazi submarine. The Nazis quickly capture the confused ship, and they take Darnell hostage, but leave the rest on board to die. Here, the Baroness expresses distaste at killing everyone else, which is interesting given she is a murderess. The Nazis fire a torpedo at the Gigantic from their submarine, and Wonder Woman hops on it with her lasso to disable it. “Just in time she climbs aboard the deadly missile and twists its steering mechanism.” Okay, I’m not an ordnance expert, but how would this disable the missile? Turn it in a different direction, yes, but stop it, no.

Wonder Woman rides her first missile.

At then end of the day, everyone goes home happy, except Diana and her ever-growing split personality:

Both Diana and Wonder Woman love Steve. How can both the secret identity and the superhero love the same person?

Oh, and on a completely weird note, Wonder Woman doesn’t turn over the Baroness to the military, saying that she has her own prison which to hold the worst offenders. And rehabilitate them now that Diana has the power of the lasso to make them obey.

Wonder Woman hauls Nazis off to her own prison.

So far, I’ve been pretty okay with Marston sneaking in his cabinet of curiosities, but here he seems to go overboard. Baroness Paula tales seem to bring it out in him. I can’t help but wonder whom he based her on.